Getting Soft During Sex? Let’s Talk About It

Let’s talk about something awkward—but only because no one else will. You’re in the middle of sex, everything’s going great, and then… you lose your erection. Totally deflates. Not at the beginning—right in the middle. Going soft during sex: It’s frustrating, confusing, and super common.

I’m Alex Hughes, the lead APP at Austin Urology Institute, and we see this every week.

Why Do I Get Soft During Sex? 

1. Mental game off – Performance anxiety is real. If your head’s not in the game, your body might bow out.
2. Stress & fatigue – Long days, poor sleep, and nonstop stress will drain your energy—and your performance.
3. Low testosterone – A big one. If your libido is down, your erections may follow.
4. Vascular health – Erections are all about blood flow. If your pipes aren’t pumping, your erection won’t hold.

Going Soft During Sex: What Can You do About It?

• Don’t ignore it. One-off? Sure. Repeated issue? Come see us.
• Get bloodwork done. Testosterone, lipids, A1C, all that good stuff.
• Stay active. Movement helps circulation and hormones.
• Try not to overthink it—easier said than done, I know.

Good news? Getting soft during sex is almost always an easy fix—from meds to devices to hormone optimization. You’re not broken, and this doesn’t have to keep happening. Let’s tackle it together.